Mood Killers Uncovered: What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

Mood Killers Uncovered: What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

Posted in Sleep News

While research reveals that sexual activity between married and cohabiting couples is decreasing fast, the same study shows most of us still want it.

Mattress Online surveyed the UK public to expose what's really ruining your sex life. Plus, we uncovered what can improve it – read on to discover our findings.

Stand-out statistics

  • 1 in 5 reveal reality TV is killing their sex life
  • 82% claim Valentine's Day ISN'T the best time of year for sex
  • 10% are more satisfied by social media likes than sex
  • 40% refuse sex if their partner hadn’t done their chores
  • 1/6 admit they won't have sex on the same night they eat a takeaway – saying they're too full for intercourse

1 in 5 reveal reality TV is killing their sex life

Our survey exposed reality TV and crime as the biggest passion killers. 1 in 5 (22%) say these are the unsexiest genres, which is bad news for Love Island fans.

82% admit Valentine's Day ISN'T the best time for sex

Our findings show that only 18% agree Valentine's Day is the best time of year for sex. The other 82% think other holidays are more romantic.

Shockingly, Christmas is twice as popular as Valentine’s Day. 34% voted the festive period as their sexiest time of year.

10% prefer social media likes to sex

Harvard University says our brains react the same way to sex as they do to successful social interactions. But are we more satisfied by Facebook likes than sex? According to our study, 10% put social media in front of sex.

Tiredness is the top mood killer, says 2/5

Being tired is the most common for avoiding intimacy, according to 2/5. With a third of Brits in sleep debt, it’s no surprise we’re too worn-out for romance.

1/6 reveal being too bloated stops sex

Our study uncovered 1/6 agree that feeling too full and bloated would put a stop to sex.

Pizza and curry also prove to be serious culprits as the same amount (1/6) said they wouldn’t have sex until the next day if they’d eaten a big takeaway.

If you’re planning a night of ‘Netflix and chill’, don’t order in.

40% would refuse sex if their partner hadn’t done their chores

Don’t shirk your domestic duties if you want to boost your sex life. 40% would turn down sex if their partner hadn’t done their share of household jobs.

But if you think wooing your partner involves a five-star hotel and an expensive trip to the lingerie shop, think again. “Intimacy is a bigger indicator of sex than sexy underwear” says Relationships Scotland, but how can you achieve that intimacy without breaking the bank?

Our investigation also discovered what you can do instead to reignite your relationship – read on to see our findings.

9/10 say comedy is least likely to kill the mood

Our data shows that laughter is the best way to the bedroom. 9/10 agreed comedy shows are least likely to kill the mood, which is good news for fans of Friends and Impractical Jokers.

Cooking is the biggest turn on, according to 2/5

2/5 claim the top domestic job to put them in the mood is cooking, if their partner does it for them.

If you’re pursuing a night of passion, cook your other half a light meal, making sure they don’t feel too full! Avoid cooking with beans, onions and broccoli, as the NHS says they’re the most common bloating foods.

You can give aphrodisiac oysters a miss too, as less than 1/20 try them regularly. Data suggests that natural aphrodisiacs are largely ineffective anyway.

60% would schedule sex

Our data uncovered that 60% would schedule intimacy, proving you don’t need spontaneity for a good sex life. Relationship and Body Language Expert Katia Loisel from Love Destination says:

It may not sound romantic, but when your life is full of distractions and a ‘to do’ list as long as your arm, making time for sex can be the last thing on your mind. Scheduling intimacy forces you to focus on the two of you and to prioritise your relationship.

While you might not always be in the mood, getting physically intimate with your partner releases a surge of hormones and endorphins, including mood-boosting dopamine, serotonin and the ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin, that not only make you feel great, but can also have a positive impact on your relationship and well-being – making you feel more content, connected and in love.”

But it’s not just experts who agree. See our real-life story from Sarah* below, who explains how scheduled sex made her relationship better:

We found with the busy lives we lead, we could go a while without sex. Yet when it was scheduled in, we both knew we were making time for each other and weren’t getting stuck into other boring life things.

I think it’s improved our sex life, because it helps us if we’ve had a stressful day – we can schedule it in with minimal effort. Plus, if we know in advance, it’s led to more adventurous or fun things because we’ve had time to plan.”

2/5 say it’s best to have sex right before bedtime

Our research shows that 2/5 agree it’s best to have sex between 6pm and 10pm. With most of us going to bed between 10pm and 11pm, it’s a good idea to schedule intimacy just before you go to sleep.

If you’ve already tried the advice above but your sex isn’t getting better, why not consider a sleep divorce? Your partner could be disturbing your sleep and making you too tired for sex.

See how sleeping separately could improve your love life or read more about relationships and sleeping better together in the Mattress Online blog.

Data correct as of October 2019. All statistics rounded for clarity. *Name has been changed for anonymity.