Dear Santa, I’m Not a Celebrity But Get Me Out Of Here…

Is it that time already? December and the Christmas anxiety that started seeping in last month has now arrived with bells on. We are now in full panic mode. Too much to do, not enough time, not enough money, and not enough of you to go around.

December should NOT have you wishing - yet again - that you could just run away and hide and not come out your front door until 4th of January. Is there anything we can do to make it through the season with our sanity intact? Absobloominglutely!

This year we are going to slow down and relax, spend some quality time with our partners, children, family and most of all be kind to ourselves - this is going to be the year when we put our feet up, let our hair down/celebrate/say thank you to all the important people in our lives.

Reboot the system and enjoy - rather than survive - the holiday season.

Five things to remember…..

1. The Perfect Christmas only exists in the glossy ads on the telly. Watch them, say “ooh and ahh” or shed a tear, whichever is appropriate. But know that pretty much none of that is going to occur in your house - which is as it should be. We all love her but do you really want Dawn French jumping on your furniture or Keira Knightley and some random fella on the end of your sofa?
2. You are NOT The Christmas Fairy and you are not solely responsible for the ‘success’ of Christmas 2025! Whether or not it is enjoyable is going to be determined by good company, semi-decent funny jokes and quality nail clippers in the crackers. And of course how much prosecco is on hand.
3. Don’t be a martyr; instead delegate-delegate-delegate. Make a list of what has to be done (all ages and genders included) and let them get on with it. If you end up with a plastic tree decorated with Haribo - then so be it. * refer back to #1. Nothing has to be perfect because nothing ever is.
4. Be reasonable with your expectations of what you can accomplish. One year I decided to de-bone a duck for the main course - that was not reasonable. These days there is no shame in part homemade and part store bought. Or if you’re having guests “Can you bring the bread rolls/mince pies/parsnips?” is a perfectly reasonable request.
5. Choose an act of kindness for your family, group of friends, whoever you are with on the day, to do. Remember how being nice to Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim gave old Mr. Scrooge a new lease on life. Deliver a basket of treats to the old-folks home, invite someone you know will be on their own on the day to join you and yours, or get the children to organise a charity collection. Each person chips in a pound and the kids write a letter and send it off to a charity that you all choose. The ideas are limitless and it’s a good way to remind all of us that it is more about ‘feeling jolly’ than ‘filling the trolley’.

Food

The internet has recently informed us that many folk no longer believe “It’s not really Christmas unless we have turkey, roast beef, spuds, Yorkshire pudding, stuffing, gravy, bread rolls, brussel sprouts, three different kinds of tatties, lamb, mint sauce etc etc etc”…..hallelujah!!! 

Not sure if it’s a combination of the success of Just Eats/UberEats/Deliveroo or the expansion of the ready-meals aisles but whatever the reason  -those of us who usually enter the kitchen on December 18th and don’t come out again until the 26th are very grateful indeed. 

And it doesn’t matter what you’re eating, it's that you’re together that counts. So when your brother calls on Christmas Eve to remind you that his new girlfriend is vegan; your husband’s boss is allergic to peanuts, half your guests are gluten-free and your mother-in-law has just returned from a yoga retreat and only wants dhal and naan bread - it’s all good!

Family

For many of us one of the most difficult aspects about Christmas is the thought of getting together with our families. We do love them dearly but with the best will in the world there’ll always be at least one of them you only see once a year (and probably for a very good reason).

Avoid confrontation on any level - just say ‘yes’ to everything, it’s easier. You don’t need to abandon your principles, just don’t buy your New York cousin a MAGA hat, do not mention Brexit (still), etcetera - you know the drill.

Finances

Don’t spend what you don’t have, it’s not any more complicated than that. “But they’re expecting this or that and they will be devastated if they don’t get it”…it doesn’t matter if the ‘they’ in question is a child, a partner or your Nan.

If they really care about you all they want is for you to be happy. They don’t want you to be stressed out and losing your mind just so they can have some fancy scarf that they’ll only wear once anyway.

• What to avoid: going broke and having no money for the next six months. 
• What to tell yourself: “I’ll give gifts that show that I care about and know the person, that is what they’ll appreciate the most”. 
• What to aim for: Make a budget before Christmas and follow it.

Imagine the thrill in January when your bank statements tell you that you don’t need to get two more jobs to clear the overdraft. And yes it definitely can be done.

Yes we should do it all year but we usually don't:

Take advantage of the extra free time to spend time with and appreciate your loved ones. Thank your partner/husband/children/friends for all the good things they do. Let them know how glad you are for their presence.

Finally; here's my gift to you -

THIS COUPON ENTITLES THE BEARER TO* :

• A glass of prosecco*
• 20 minutes of cat-videos on You Tube or 15 minutes of Tik-Tok
• 20 minutes of “Who went where/got what for Christmas on Insta”
• A foot massage
• Breakfast in bed or Christmas Eve takeaway*

 * to be provided by the people in your home who benefit the most from you having run around like a blue-butt-duck for the past month!

MERRY CHRISTMAS